WHY CAN I NOT BE IN CONTROL ?
I think that is something we all ask ourselves probably a million times a day. There is just something about having a sense of control over situations that brings us peace. This is something a lot of people with anxiety deal with.
What if this happens? What if they don’t like me? What if I am not good enough?
It is 100% without a doubt so hard to just trust in God. To give Him total and complete control, and to stop trying to take over. Lately, it has seemed that my life is falling apart and falling together all at the same time. I can’t help but to question God and to yell at Him “WHY ME!?” or “WHY US!?” … it’s tough. But, He never fails me. He never tests me without reminding me how strong I am.
I look at my scares. Both physical and emotional, and I am reminded that I have been through so much and I am okay!!! It brings a sense of peace knowing that if I got through this then I can get through that. I have to let God be God. I have to quit fighting Him.
let God be God.. wow
hmm.. when I first read that it put a pit in my stomach. It made my heart ache. It is crazy how mighty our God is. And let me tell ya, he is testing me. He is testing my faith, love, perseverance, strength, etc etc etc. You name it. He’s testing it. But, at the same time, he is bringing so many new relationships that are true and genuine. It’s crazy and definitely something I’ve never had before. He is also opening new doors for me and providing peace. He knows exactly what I need during this time and he is providing.
I have to let Him be Him. He’s got me.
I need prayer. My family needs prayer. My mom needs prayer. She has been very sick lately and if you know her, you know she HATES the doctor and refuses to go or makes up excuses until she absolutely has to. We are still going through tests, exams, and results… but her cancer may be back. Now, I am not blogging this to make people feel sorry for her/us, or so that she can be the gossip of the town… but I am saying this because I believe that we serve a mighty and powerful God.
According to Mathew 18:20,
For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.
So, may we gather. May we pray. May we see healing and positivity. And may that tumor, benign or not, BE GONE IN HIS NAME.
With that being said, we are trusting in Him and we are running full force against this cancer, and I know without a doubt that my mom will put up a good fight! AGAIN!!!
Soooo bring on the prayer warriors ❤
As always with love,